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The Best Insult Puns - Punstoppable

Pun.me > Jokes. Collection of Jokes Last Updated: March 28, 2021. We have hand-picked jokes from across the internet, celebration crackers, joke books and various other sources that made us laugh. We then proceeded to compile these jokes into subpages to create our collection of the top jokes Insults one liners. It's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. 82.54 % / 2863 votes. You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left. 82.28 % / 1971 votes. Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of. My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home. I don't want to brag, I finished the puzzle in under a week and it said 2-4 years on the box. Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet. I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me. Newly Added Joke One can only imagine where the roots of puns are hidden. Was it The First Humans who mistakenly called the Sabertooth tiger a Lightsabertooth tiger? Or maybe it all started in the Middle Ages when, by a long shot, the Trebuchet was the most powerful weapon? Or perhaps it was the era of the Renaissance when people just couldn't Handel the music of Handel? There are no answers as to when this.

Funny Knock-knock Jokes for Kids Last Updated: March 6, 2021. Knock-knock jokes are a simple and easy to understand joke which kids love. This page contains 50+ clean and family-friendly jokes which you can share to get the whole family laughing sturti/Getty Images. Where there are bathrooms, there's bathroom humor.And to go along with the poop jokes, we've wrangled up some plumber jokes.Most people think plumbing is a fairly new invention. After all, many of us still remember our grandparents' or great-grandparents' stories of mid-winter outhouse excursions. However, the world's need for a plumber actually goes back centuries

The Best Insulting Puns - Punstoppable

  1. 101 Best Bad Funny Puns. 1. Why did Adele cross the road? To say hello from the other side. 2. What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? A 50 Cent concert featuring Nickelback
  2. d forever! 20. I need help in fixing my door hinges. If anyone can help, please come in. My door is always open. 21. My brother has invested his every penny in a door business. I think a lot is hinging on it succeeding
  3. 139 Best Travel Jokes and Puns 2021 - Thai and Stop me 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2021: Quotes We All Can Relate To 47 Funny Jokes for Kids and Family: More time to Laug

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Shock me, say something intelligent. You have the perfect face for radio. Two legged stool sample. Damn not you again. Nice tan, orange is my favorite color. I had a nightmare. I dreamed I was you. Even a happy meal can cause a funny insult. So you better have self-control and sense of humor, not a happy meal. Just look at the guys in the pic. Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen. One liner tags: animal, attitude. 82.81 % / 1947 votes. Before I criticize a man, I like to walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when I do criticize him, I'm a mile away and I have his shoes. One liner tags: attitude, communication, life

Jokes: Our collection of the best jokes Pun

  1. 98 Silly Fish Puns for Everyone Occasion! Some believe that puns are the lowest form of humor. Act-shoal-ly, playing with commonly-used terms and crafting joke words-within-words is a sign of great intelligence. If you love funny fish puns, you'll find these insults and one-liners hys-tetra-ical!. 1
  2. Tooth Puns. 1. My kid didn't want to tell me that his tooth was loose. I had to pull it out of him. 2. My dentist did a root canal on the wrong tooth It was accidental. 3. What does Tooth Paste mean in Italian? - Pasta al dente!. 4. I once knew a guy with teeth so bad His calculus had advanced to trigonometry. 5. Whoever came up with the.
  3. A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet. One liner tags: political. 81.47 % / 1503 votes. Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old. One liner tags: age, communication, insults, IT, political. 81.45 % / 8832 votes. I think we should get rid of democracy. All in favor raise your hand
  4. He said okay, you're ugly too. One liner tags: insults, rude, ugly. 80.10 % / 533 votes. You're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering. One liner tags: insults, school, ugly. 79.74 % / 3344 votes. Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick
  5. Categories Pun of the Day Tags insults, puns about puns Leave a comment. 04/04/2020. How does a magician insult a chicken? A: Slight of hen. (1 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5) Loading... Categories Pun of the Day Tags chickens, insults, magicians Leave a comment. 01/30/2020
  6. Luckily for you, we've gone ahead and rounded up the cutest snake jokes and threw in a few Slytherin jokes for good measure. Obviously, you should also follow up with a Harry Potter marathon.. Looking for more animal jokes for kids? We got you covered with a whole veritable zoo of jokes about cows, pigs, owls, giraffes, fish, farm, dogs, and so many more

33. A police officer pulled me over and said, Papers. I said, Scissors. I win! and drove off. I guess he wants a rematch because he's been following me for about 45 minutes. 34. Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny? He was charged with battery. Related: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made. A: Please, mom, spear me. Q: What did the pickle say to the hot dog? A: I relish this time we have together. Q: How did the smart business pickle make its millions? A: It opened a dill-icatessen. Hope you enjoyed these pickle puns, you can use them as many times as you want and we encourage you to share these puns with your friend 205 Best Cat Puns That Are Simply Paw-some! 26.6.2021. 22.9.2020 by Adriana. Let's dive deep in a purr-fect list off funny cat puns and cat jokes! If you have a favorite cat word, you can jump straight to its category. Enjoy this paw-some puns, not only for cat lovers

These witchy puns and one-liners might do the trick here are some of our favorite witch puns related to curses, hexes, spells and wands. Halloween is my favorite time of year of curse! I'm usually not a punny person, but for Halloween I'll make a hex-ception Insults & Comebacks. 7 billion smiles on this planet... and yours is the worst. I'd slap you, but I'm against animal abuse. Yo Mama so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor. Fly like a butterfly sting like a bee I slept with yo mama now it burns when I pee Thanks for explaining the word many to me, it means a lot. One liner tags: communication, intelligence, mistake, puns, stupid. 82.69 % / 2406 votes. Intelligence is like an underwear. It is important that you have it, but not necessary that you show it off. One liner tags: intelligence, life

Cauliflower/Collieflower Pun ~ Silly Bunt

309 Insults One Liners - The funniest insults jokes

  1. 30+ Of The Best Marvel Puns and Jokes To Brighten Your Day. Well, folks, it's a sad fact. We certainly won't be getting any new Marvel movies for a good long time, which means we have to make do with Marvel puns for now. Marvel Studios made the decision to push back Black Widow, originally slated for April 24, to November 6
  2. We Find These Skeleton Puns Very Humerus. Of all the things that go bump in the night, skeletons are probably the goofiest. Unlike their fleshy cousins, the zombies, they don't have a gory agenda. Instead, they're usually either comic relief or sympathetic characters like Jack Skellington in The Nightmare Before Christmas
  3. ded me to take the garbage out. Quick - check your face! I just found your nose in my business. The last time I saw a face like yours, I fed it a banana. You're such a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful person. Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were having a lying competition. The last 15 Best insults eve
  4. Hilarious Jokes And Puns That Only Smart People Will Understand. Everybody needs a good laugh from time to time. Laughter is a good stress-reliever and it can also boost immunity and confidence. It is indeed the best medicine that could make our lives more cheerful and healthier. If you're looking for something funny to laugh at, you came to.
  5. There are also insult puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. Joke directed insult. A woman walks into the doctors office. She says she wants a child, but doesnt want to have sex. The doctor says ok and asks what kind of child she wants. The woman said she wanted a smart and handsome kid. The doctor then hands her a blue pill

1. If you travel on a cramped plane, you end up with jet leg. 2. Some people don't like leg puns because they can't stand them. 3. I love my legs because they always stand up for me. 4. An group of archaeologists gathered to find the leg bone of an ancient man. It was a real shindig Minnow Fish Puns. Let minnow if you can make it. If you can think of a better pun, let minnow. What did the fish say at the interview? Let minnow when you want me to start. Nemo Fish Puns. She's my nemo-sis. You've met your nemo-sis. Octopus Puns. Why is an octopus always ready for war? They're well-armed These monkey puns are so ape-solutely funny, they are perfect when monkeying around with your prime-mates. Let's face it: monkeys are some of the funniest mammals in the animal kingdom. Their amusing expressions, their mischievous personalities, and not to mention, the funny noises they make -- Yes, monkeys are ape-solutely adorable 55+ Hilarious Math Jokes To Cause Smiles. Math doesn't always have to be hard and confusing, sometimes it can be fun. These funny math jokes and puns are the perfect way to make math a good time. Use them to kid around with your math savvy friend one day or as a one-liner with friends. These jokes are also great to use in the classroom. The dad, with tears in his eyes, seeing what his son has been reduced to and sadly knowing his dear son's death is imminent says, You post syringe, you lose subscriber. To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term. It's textbook Economics

David Jusko/Unsplash. Yo! What's quack-a-lackin'? Looking for a ducking good time? Well, we've got some one-liners and knee-slappers that ought to fit the bill. We waddled through the web to find as many solidly silly but entirely wholesome duck puns and jokes as possible. And, y'all, these duck laughs are doozies The crewman says Oh yeah- this sub is full of reposts.. He speaks with the officer, who assigns him his post. Go stand at the periscope entry-way, and make sure no unauthorized personnel touch the periscope. The recruit follows orders, and stands by the periscope. After 15 minutes, the officer stops by Boo puns for ghoulish halloween captions . We love the word boo so wonderfully punnable and easy to insert into any festive phrase! Below, you'll find some of our favorite Halloweeny boo puns that are perfect for cute little notes or Halloween Instagram captions. I'm a savage - classy, boo-gie, ratchet. I'd like some boos please

RAT PUNS. Rats! Rats!! Rats!!! They are everywhere. From people whose homes are infested to people who intentionally adopt these creatures as pets, almost everyone on this planet is aware of them. Being the major carrier for the bubonic plague of the middle ages that wiped out one-third of Europe, these creatures carry a threatening reputation. Below is list of puns for crab-related topics with associated example sentences for each. Most of these puns are terrible, which is probably exactly what you're after, but there are a few diamonds in the rough, so get digging! Oh and some items explain a pattern which can be applied to create many crab puns. In these items, the asterisk. These funny fish jokes and fish puns can be inserted into any conversation: If you keep pestering me I'm going to get a haddock. Well I think you're just fintastic. That seems a bit fishy to me. Let minnow if you have any suggestions. Some people don't like fish puns, but these are kraken me up Naturally, a humorous one liner or compliment pun might appreciate the universe and more. Some humor about astronomy might sa-turn your frown upside down. A funny space joke might rock your world. We've gathered some of the best pun wisecracks in the cosmos below. Here are 50+ Clever Space Puns That Are Out Of This World Hilarious. Funny.

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It doesn't matter whether you're a meat-lover or a vegetarian. Either way, you can agree on one thing. These chicken puns are laugh out loud funny. 1. What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover? The Cluck o'the Irish! 2. What's a hen's favorite type of movie? A chick flick. 3. How do baby chickens dance? Chick-to. These puns might seem transparent on the surface, but after reading a few you will come to fall for them head over heels. So don't be afraid to let out a huge laugh, these skeleton puns are just what the doctor ordered to give your bones a little shake today. These 60 silly skeleton puns are humerus in their own away, so enjoy a little fun.

Funny Jokes: Our list of the funniest jokes Pun

You keep me grounded. Coffee Puns on Emotions and Expressions. Puns are also an amazing way to express yourself. Whether you're trying to be funny or cute, or just connect with someone, you can use a pun to show your sense of humor. Even when a pun isn't that funny, the fun is in groaning at it together If you have one or more mean insults you think fits this list, simply submit them, it would be a great help to me. Other categories of insults. Funny insults Hilarious insults Great insults. Shakespeare insults Fat insults Funny insulting names. Clever insults Best insults ever Good insults. Next Shakespeare insults More Space Puns Jokes. Here are a couple of longer funny space jokes and puns that are out of this world funny: -. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are camping on a case they are investigating. After putting up the tent, having a good dinner, and drinking a bottle of wine, they go to sleep 105 pun-based jokes that will make you laugh - and cringe. A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy

145 Bad Jokes And Puns So Cringeworthy They're Actually Really, Really Good. You know why dad jokes are so popular? Because they're terrible but you can't help but laugh at them. Well, dads aren't the only ones capable of telling stinkers, though. We've compiled a ton of jokes and puns so horrible and lame they'll have dad, mom. Well, we've got some one-liners and knee-slappers that ought to fit the bill. We waddled through the web to find as many solidly silly but entirely wholesome duck puns and jokes as possible. And. A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, You need to start eating more sensibly. Share. I'd like to tell a joke about salt but then said to myself: Na. Share. Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment. Share The best worm puns online, including worms puns, caterpillar jokes, larva jokes, bug jokes, maggot jokes, ringworm jokes, silkworm jokes, tapeworm jokes, and centipede jokes

Plus, these puns can work up your appetite and leave you craving for your favorite foods. We've come up with some of the coolest and yummiest food puns that will leave you looking forward to your next meal. 1. Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak. 2 Puns And One Liners. Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour Jam Jokes A friend keeps having nightmares about half eaten bananas. We suspect it's a mid-Fyffe crisis. This week's collection of one liners takes the form of jam jokes, although it does stretch as far as marmalade As normal, they come with no. 20 Tree Jokes And Puns That Will Tickle Your Funny Branch. Planting trees is serious business, make no mistake. Planting trees is serious business, make no mistake. To date, tentree has planted more than 30 million trees! But we like to have fun while we're doing it. A shrub is a guy that can't get no love from me Unless you're terrified of mother nature's biggest water playground. In that case, you might not think these shark puns are all that finny, but we think they've got a good bite to 'em. 1. You've got me between a rock and a shark place. 2. This makome off as a surprise, but I don't bite. 3 Having a good laugh is always a great feeling especially when it's about something you can relate to. Hopefully, you found a few of these guitar jokes and puns funny. If you have any of your own guitar jokes, puns, or anything else that's funny and related to guitar post it in the comments section below! 12 Guitar Memes All Guitarists Can.

The Ultimate List Of Zombie Jokes, Puns & One-Liners June 06, 2018 6:00 AM The funniest and best jokes about zombies, plus zombie apocalypse one-liners and the finest undead puns You are just like my car. You drive me crazy. My boyfriend accidentally poked me in the eyes. So I stopped seeing him for a little while. I invited my boyfriend to go to the gym with me, and then I didn't show. I hope he gets the message that we're not working out. My boyfriend isn't allowed to have birthday candles on his cake Funniest Clean Joke Of The Day. A thief stuck a pistol in the man's ribs and said: Give me your money.. The man replied: You can't do this. I'm a congressman.. The thief replied: In that case, give me my money.. Apparently, the snowmen want more sugar than corn flakes can provide Pun #22. Looks like October is. Oct-over. bad jokes sans xd bad puns pun list bad puns list sorry I has to october puns october spooktober spoopy pun

Insults & Comebacks. A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'. The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect. Share Clever puns and funny jokes are scientifically proven to make you laugh (or maybe cringe). Use your power of observation and take a look at some of these brilliant and nerdy puns that only scientists 40+ Clever Science Puns And Jokes That Any Nerd Would Lov Other times, the intention is to insults. We consulted our pool of writers and asked them for their favorite, funny backhanded compliments examples. This list is the result. One word of warning: only use these when you have to. Good Backhanded Compliments. By giving the appearance of saying something nice, the sting to the insult hurts that. I use those in my act. Well, show me, the officer demanded. So the juggler got out the machetes and started juggling them, first three, then more, finally seven at one time, overhand, underhand, behind the back, putting on a dazzling show and amazing the officer

Guitars don't insult you if you're a bad player. Guitars don't care if you're late. You don't have to take a shower before you play your Guitar. If your Guitar doesn't look good you can refinish it or get new parts. You can play your Guitar the first time you meet it, without having to take it to dinner, see a movie, or meet its mother A Discord bot built to insult, curse and entertain your discord. Invite Me. A bot that started as a fun side project. Now it has turned into an obession. Planned updates/additions. A better website. STFU - I know this one sucks Join the discord to add more puns, insults, and roasts to the bot plus much more!

80 Of The Funniest Puns Ever Bored Pand

The Best 8 Roblox Jokes. Following is our collection of funny Roblox jokes. There are some roblox arcade jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these roblox pokemon. More duck jokes and puns. View this post on Instagram. Day 597 #duck #ducklife #ducks #ducksofinstagram #ducklings #duckling #petduck #duckie #ducklove #babyducks #duckduckgoose#cute#animals#birds#gorgeous#kawaii#wildlife #pet. A post shared by SamePhotoOfADuckEveryday. Dont_Make_Pun_of_Me -2 points-1 points 0 points 1 year ago Well I may not be a fancy pants mobile game designer, but that's dumb. Any Miami fan/writer who responded with insults is very much in the wrong. In the long run none of this really matters it's just a shit way to treat a team experiencing a hurricane. There really isn't much to.

Kid 2: Yeah, I was a virgin until last night . Kid 1: As if. Kid 2: Yeah, just ask your sister. Kid 1: I don't have a sister. Kid 2: You will in about nine months. A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up Sheep Coitus. A Utah Utes fan and a Washington State Cougars fan were driving along when all of a sudden the Utah fan slams on the brakes. There was a sheep with her head stuck in the fence and the Utah fan said We Utes never pass up an opportunity like this! And he gets out and has his way with the sheep Keeping It Warm. An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an open buggy one cold, blustery January day. The daughter said to the mother, My hands are freezing cold. The mother replied, Put your hands between your legs. The body heat will warm them up. So the daughter did, and her hands warmed up Following is our collection of funny Insulting jokes.There are some insulting khrushchev jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline

Funny Knock-knock Jokes for kids! Pun

Whether your pun-ch line is one clever word or the entire sentence, the result leads to funny puns (and punny funs). You may not get a belly laugh for your efforts, but a good pun can go a long way to ease a tense or dull moment. Have even more fun with puns by laughing at these puns for kids 19 Smart-Ass Insults To Destroy Your Worst Enemies & More Importantly, Your Best Friends. There are a few things that pretty much every person on earth wants to be, but at the top of the list.

Alpaca My Bag ~ Silly Bunt Funny

30+ Plumber Jokes And Puns Sure To Crack You U

Don't mind me, just havana drink; That's the sealiest pun I've ever heard; Summary. All in all, we hope that we have not pier-pressured you into thinking these jokes are funny, and that you whaley did have a good time! We had so much fun coming up with these oceans puns and we hope we have inspired you to come up with some of your own Welcome to the Punpedia entry on vegetable puns, salad puns and related topics! Whether you're looking for a name for your veggie patch, in a veg pun battle with your friend, trying to come up with some cute vegetable pickup lines, or just want to stock up on some vegetable word play for future use, I hope this entry serves you well Below are 50 of the best piano jokes, puns, and quotes of all time. Share this list with fellow pianists or your piano teacher . While we admit some of these piano jokes are a little out there, they're sure to put a smile on your face The puns are mostly polite political jokes that circulated in educated society. The largest part of the puns was ridiculing the political system and the rulers of the Soviet Union and the communist countries of Eastern Europe. However, the puns were never meant to undermine the regime or create a political instability

Big Foot Jokes | Kappit

51 Funny Sewing Puns And Jokes (Knitting, Quilting, Yarn) Sewing Tips. / By James V. The following should keep you in stitches. A bad pun, we know, but at least it has you smiling. As well the many sewing, knitting, quilting and yarn puns and jokes we have assembled here. One word of warning, we did not plagiarize but kept the wording close to. It's no secret that we love Halloween around here! From winding your way through a corn maze (make sure you take a photo that pairs nicely with these fall Instagram captions) to setting up a movie marathon featuring the best Halloween movies of all time, October is chock-full of friendly Halloween family activities that lead up to the spooky holiday Common Baseball Pun Words To Use. With words like pinch, bat, hit, and base it's easy to come up with a wide variety of baseball puns to play with. Strike is also another versatile word that can be weaved into just about any sentence if you try hard enough. Take a look at the list below to get inspiration for some of your own Read Armin from the story Attack On Titan Jokes and Puns by MissNyanshima (Miss Nyansii) with 15,519 reads. pics, puns..